A Prayer When You Fail

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

I didn’t think I’d be here again, Lord. I am embarrassed to find myself here once more. I should be farther along by now. I thought this was behind me, that I’d made enough progress that this would never happen again. I feel so dirty inside, and the heaviness of my guilt makes me want to do something crazy to escape it. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I sure do need it. Part of me wants to delay asking as a way of punishing myself. I feel I’ve used up too much grace already. I wouldn’t blame You if You said there’s no more left for me, but where else can I go? You are the only One Who cleanses soul-deep, and I can’t live with myself if I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you haven’t cut me off, but I’m glad you haven’t. My guilt says I have a lot of nerve asking for mercy, that I should quit asking. I can’t!

Please forgive me, Lord. Cleanse me from my sin and help me start again. By now, I don’t trust myself to stay right, but I’m begging for Your power not to be what I hate most.

“Thank You” seems too small a response for such a colossal cleansing, but I’ll start there. “Praise You” gets closer to what my heart feels for this indescribable gift. I’ll need to do it the rest of my life for what I feel for You in this moment. “Change me,” reminds me of my dependence and gives me hope that future days will find me walking in victory. I love you, Lord, and I’m grateful for this cleansing…again.

“…as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11

Published by georgiapointer

Welcome to Encouragement Outpost! My name is Dr. Georgia Pointer, a Christian writer who loves encouraging people in their relationship with Christ. I am a survivor of childhood rape and molestation, bullying, and emotional abuse. Negative thought patterns plagued me for many years until I learned to allow Christ and His Word to encourage and transform those thoughts. This background provides me with a passion to offer the same encouragement to anyone, not just abuse survivors, with the light of biblical truth that shines against the darkness of negativity, lies of the enemy, and daily struggles in living for Christ. I am a seminary graduate with a Masters in Christian Education. I also recently received my doctorate in Christian Counseling with a specialty in Family and Substance Abuse counseling. I served on staff for six years as a counselor at Moriah House of the Memphis Union Mission. I love the Word of God! I love studying it, teaching it, and speaking in public about it any chance I get. This blog, which I post about once a week, is my venue to share insights I glean. So, I invite you to subscribe to receive my weekly posts in your email and to share these posts with anyone you think might be encouraged by them.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: