If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
I didn’t think I’d be here again, Lord. I am embarrassed to find myself here once more. I should be farther along by now. I thought this was behind me, that I’d made enough progress that this would never happen again. I feel so dirty inside, and the heaviness of my guilt makes me want to do something crazy to escape it. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I sure do need it. Part of me wants to delay asking as a way of punishing myself. I feel I’ve used up too much grace already. I wouldn’t blame You if You said there’s no more left for me, but where else can I go? You are the only One Who cleanses soul-deep, and I can’t live with myself if I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you haven’t cut me off, but I’m glad you haven’t. My guilt says I have a lot of nerve asking for mercy, that I should quit asking. I can’t!
Please forgive me, Lord. Cleanse me from my sin and help me start again. By now, I don’t trust myself to stay right, but I’m begging for Your power not to be what I hate most.
“Thank You” seems too small a response for such a colossal cleansing, but I’ll start there. “Praise You” gets closer to what my heart feels for this indescribable gift. I’ll need to do it the rest of my life for what I feel for You in this moment. “Change me,” reminds me of my dependence and gives me hope that future days will find me walking in victory. I love you, Lord, and I’m grateful for this cleansing…again.
“…as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11